Is it important to your teen that they maintain long streaks, get lots of likes or have more followers than they follow? These are all social media standards that teens use to compare their popularity to other teens. If a teen doesn’t get similar interaction to their peers, it can have an impact on their self esteem, decrease their confidence and throw them into The Chronic Stress Loop. I once heard a teen state that she dreaded her birthday because she worried that she wouldn’t get as many birthday wishes as others. Other teens will delete pictures that don’t get enough likes or will unfollow people they like to ensure their follow to following ratio is socially appropriate.
Maintaining a social media presence is a pressure that teens experience today that didn’t even exist while we were growing up. While it might seem silly to us, the stress that managing social media can cause is real. Therefore, helping your teens remain confident no matter what is happening on their social media accounts is vital to your teen’s health and happiness in school and beyond.
In the Moment Habits to Be More Confident
Mantras:
Encourage your teen to pick a mantra to repeat silently before opening any social media account. This small shift helps your teen bolster their self esteem, so if they are disappointed with the interaction on their posts, they can remain confident and ditch the comparisons.
- My self-worth is independent from social media because I know I am awesome and loved by many exactly how I am today.
- My value is independent from others. I am unique and so are my strengths.
Long Term Habits to Be More Confident
Mirror Technique:
This technique is an interactive version of mantras. Your teen repeats their confidence mantra every time they look into a mirror. Looking into their own eyes increases the power of the mantra. It is also a great way for your teen to remember to say positive mantras throughout the day. Encourage your teen to pick a mantra based on their greatest insecurity.
- Friends: People adore me and I easily attract friendships into my life that are supportive and positive.
- School: My effort is a greater determinate of my success than my aptitude. I consistently do my best each and everyday.
- Appearance: I am beautiful, and I chose to release the desire to change my physical traits because I am perfect exactly how I am right now.
The Sandwich Technique
The Sandwich Technique is a form of the Emotional Freedom Technique or tapping that can quickly decrease stress. If you are new to tapping, you can learn more about the technique here. The Sandwich Technique consists of a set up statement and three rounds of tapping. The first round your teen taps on negative emotions. The second round your teen alternates between negative and positive emotions. The third round your teen taps in a positive emotion.
Step 1: Rate the intensity of the stressor on a scale from 1 (low) to 10 (high).
Step 2: Create a Set Up Statement. Repeat 3 times while tapping on the karate chop point.
Even though I am really sad that few people ______ my post, I fully and completely accept myself anyway.
Step 3: Tap through the 8 points three times.
Round 1 Phrase: I am so sad that few people _____ my post.
Round 2 Phrase: Alternate between these two statements.
- I am so sad few people _____ my post.
- I am awesome and people adore me.
Round 3 Phrase: I am loved by many.
Step 4: Check back in with the intensity of the stress. Rate the intensity of the stressor on a scale from 1 (low) to 10 (high). After one round, hopefully your teen’s stress has decreased and they are feeling more at ease. If the intensity is still high, they can continue to tap until it is decreased to a five or below.
If your teen consistently gets little interaction on social media, then this is likely one of their top stressors that is keeping them stuck in The Chronic Stress Loop. Therefore, they would benefit from some additional support. Grab a copy of my Stress Less Guide here and start helping your teen stop the comparisons and feel more confident and at ease today.